Believing for Their Resurrection

At this point, hopefully, everyone reading this is a Christian. If you're not, please back up, reread and pray through all the previous articles. Now, we are ready to tackle the first major task of grief believing that your loved one has been raised to heaven. This requires two kinds of faith-confidence.

First, you would have to have faith that the hope of heaven is real, not a fantasy. This is based upon faith in what Jesus has done and grows powerfully out of one's own faith-confidence that you will get to heaven when you die. Let us remember that it has nothing to do with our merits or efforts, but rests entirely upon the Blood of Jesus which He shed in dying for our sins. All genuine, born-again believers know with an absolute assurance that Jesus has already been raised from the dead and we will be too if we continue in the faith.

Eternal Comfort

If a person doesn't have this kind of faith-confidence that heaven is real and that Jesus has opened it wide for all who believe, then what can you tell them that isn't wishful thinking? How can they draw any kind of comfort from the many well-meaning but foolish things that people say? The only real, lasting comfort will come from seeing your loved one again. That's eternal comfort! And it is given to us by God if we and they are positioned to receive His gift of eternal life to all who believe. Faith positions us. If we have faith-confidence for ourselves, then we need to make sure we have faith-confidence for them. Why is this so important?

For a heart to be healed of any burden, it must become established in the truth. As Jesus stated, the truth sets us free. The catch is we must believe it for the setting free to happen. I may know what the truth is, but not believe it with full confidence. In that case, I will only get a partial liberation of my burden limited by the degree of doubt that I allow to remain. If my loved one has died and I only have a vague hope that they are in heaven, my heart will always carry the weight of that burden. On the one hand, the doubt that they didn't make it will kill me emotionally whenever I get near it. On the other hand, I will have too little faith to be lifted into joy at the thought of where they are. The doubt will always show up and cripple my wings before I can get off the ground. Doubt doesn't eliminate faith; it paralyzes it. This is why James that those who are double-minded cannot receive anything.

We will have to make up our minds then, whether or not our loved one has gone to heaven. If they have, then we can begin to mend. In fact, believing that they are truly in heaven will lead us into discoveries that will play a major role in the final healing of our grief. That's not our task here, of course. We aren't ready to be over the grief, yet. We are just at the beginning. Even so, we need to be assured by a confident faith that we are only grieving our pain at losing them, not the pain that would be involved if they were lost to God forever.

A Unique Challenge

It is just at this point that the Christian can be at a momentary disadvantage from the typical atheist or pagan non-believer. If you are so far in the dark that you don't know that heaven and hell are real, you are insulated by spiritual darkness from feeling either the dangers or the delights of the next life. You may not be comforted at the thought of your loved one being in heaven (since you don't believe in it), but you certainly won't be tormented thinking your loved one is suffering in hell (even though they may be).

The Christian knows better. We know that heaven and hell are real. We know that God is holy, so holy that sin cannot enter His presence and, therefore, no sinful person can enter His heaven. Since we are all sinful at our self-centered core and since all people sin in many ways at various times in their life, this poses a problem. Our loved one wasn't perfect either! Dare we admit it? I have heard so many glowing eulogies in churches that one wonders why they even needed Jesus to save them. Yet, everyone does. Did your loved one have either enough faith or enough honesty to know they needed Jesus to save them from their sinful side? Had they ever turned to receive Him as their Savior? Good! Then, don't let the devil plague you with doubts that your loved one didn't make it to heaven. Getting into heaven isn't about us being perfect enough to squeak past the inspection. The only Perfect One cleared the way.

What if you are genuinely not sure? Or worse, what if you saw no signs of either faith or God's redemption at work in your loved one? I would absolutely refuse to throw in the towel. In the first place, you're not the Judge. Only God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit can see into the deep heart. Only They know the reality and quality of things we sometimes hide even from the ones we love the most. Only They know what They planted and what They may have harvested when people are forced to face death in their final moments. I always encourage people to pray. If God has something on your heart like the salvation need of your loved one then pray and keep praying until that burden is finally lifted. Who knows? The Lord may have placed you in their life for that very reason.

Prayer

Dear Father, thank You that the Blood of Jesus is available to cover and cleanse everyone of sin and separation from You if they turn to You in repentance and faith. I place my hope for my loved one on the Blood of Jesus and the faith that I have seen in them. Every instance of faith they showed is a sign from You to me that they were looking in the right direction. If You have given me these signs, then help me now build rock-solid confidence that You have done what the gospel promises You have carried them safely home to heaven. If I haven't seen those signs, help me pray and interceded for them in hope that there were things You planted in them long ago which You could harvest at the time of their final days or moments. As long as You press upon my heart to pray, I will trust that there is a good reason for it and thank You that You want no one to be lost.