Mending Grief

A pivotal moment came for me when I was in non-stop grief driving to Florida to see my cousin. This was three months after June passed into heaven. Somewhere south of the Georgia line, the Lord interrupted my prayers and my tears to say: June and I both believe that you have grieved enough. We both want you to let Me heal you. At someplace deep inside me, I was aware that I needed to know that I had grieved enough, or I was not about to let it go. I was determined to honor June by grieving for her thoroughly and well.

Strangely, I had no doubt how the Lord would move to heal me once He gave me permission. Or, I gave Him permission, however that worked. I'll get to that in a moment, but first He asked me a series of questions that I didn't expect. They proved so helpful that, since then, I have often used them with others to lead them along, too. First, He asked, Is June in heaven? Yes, I'm sure she is. Is she happy? I hated to think that she was happy while I was still feeling so miserable, but I had to admit, Yes, I'm sure she's happyshe is out of her pain at last. Would she want you to be happy? He had me there.

If I said yes to the Third Question, I had no good reason left to stay in deep sorrow. By admitting she was happy (Question Two), I no longer had a good reason to grieve for her. How could I feel sorry for her? She had entered into joy. I could, therefore, only grieve for myself. But the one I was grieving for wouldn't want me to do that! So, I reluctantly had to admit, Yes, she would want me to be happy. That admission effectively ended the grief. Oh, there were months more of hours filled with tears, but from then on, I began to have whole days free of them. Looking back, that conversation with Jesus was like the Normandy invasion during World War II. The success of the invasion guaranteed that the Allies would win the war, though it was hardly the last battle. These admissions proved to be the Lord's beachhead.

The Magnificent Promise

The healing came through the application of a promise the Lord had used to heal most of my damaged past the promise of Romans 8:28 that He works all things for good. I had been holding it on the outer circle of my life as an anchor, but I was not going to bring it anywhere near the loss of June until the time seemed right. Now, the Lord was saying it was time. So I began to choose actively and purposefully to believe that as awful as this loss was, as wrong as it was, and as much as I hated the separation, God was not going to quit until it became for me and our kids a greater source of redemptive good than the evil we had so far experienced. It took a few hours to get most of me over to that side. By the end of the visit, I was there.

When I came back to my old church on the following weekend, I remember feeling like the freest person there. I felt practically invincible, since if I survived this blow and could reach the other side, what could the devil ever destroy me with in the future? I looked up to the Lord in wonder and said: Is this how other people have felt in church history? When you allowed the one thing that should never have been allowed into their lives, a thing that destroyed their world? And you brought them out to the other side of the Valley of Baca, and they found themselves standing on resurrection ground with You, amazed by Your love and power?

There would still be times of strong grieving and tears (some moments occur even to this day), but the majority share of healing had taken place. My friend, follow the path of my tears and let them lead you to those three questions. Then, be fully prepared to walk your heart through the truth of Romans 8:28: Our God truly has the ability to make even the worst things obey His unbending determination to make everything work for our good!

Prayer

Dear Lord, help me take this part of the journey. Perhaps, I'm not ready for it yet, but at least I can see by this that there is a path of mending. One day, I'll be able to say to You with gladness, Thank You that my loved one is in heaven and is deliriously happy to be there. Yes, I truly believe that my great love would want me to be happy down here no matter what that may mean for my future.

So, I will choose to let joy over my loved ones happiness be the emotion that now rules over my heart. The pain of her death is a passing thing for both of us. Joy will last forever! So, I choose also, by an act of my will to believe that You, God, truly can make even great evils like the loss of a great love serve a higher purpose. You want to raise me out of this grief and my loved one wants me to let You. Raise me higher to satisfy that dear heart and Yours!