Pursuing the Process
God knows our situation;
He will not judge us
as if we had no difficulties to overcome.
What matters is the sincerity and perseverance
of our will to overcome them.
C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity.
Seasons of Growth
When examining the the growth rings on the cross-section of trees, one readily notes the winter and summer rings. Summer is credited with the soft, wide bands which grew rapidly under ideal conditions. Winter is correspondingly praised for the tighter, tougher rings that slowly, almost begrudgingly, formed under harsher treatment. So it is that from summer we measure the trunk's girth; from winter it's strength. Little is made of the two colorful seasons in between.
Grief follows a similar pattern. The splashes of living color that spring up suddenly or fall unexpectedly upon us come and go with breathtaking speed. How we prize them! And how short-lived they are. Moments of joy and beauty in the midst of grief are signs that life and hope still exist in the wider world and may even flourish again in ours. We seize upon them like starving souls so hungry are we for fun or fellowship. Yet, try as we might we cannot make them last, while those longer seasons of slow growth seem determined to deny even time its right to advance.
Indeed, during much of the grief process we will feel at a stand still. This hardly means that there is nothing for us to do, or that no growth is taking place. It's just that the dismal reality of our inward state will make us feel as if nothing we are doing is getting us anywhere at all. Where is it we want to go? Back in time! Since, that's not possible, we reluctantly turn (yet again) to trudge ever so slowly forward. Patience, prayer and perseverance really do move mountains, or rather, will move us to that higher ground where our future standing before God, and our experience of this life, will be worth every step that brought us through this journey (Psalm 84:5-7). Don't give up!
List of Articles
Staying Faithful in Grief For some of us (the left-brain types) a check list is a practical necessity for charting the way forward. Here are ten basics for handling grief well. Go for it! For you right brain types who prefer to "let the Spirit lead," please go over this list to make sure you are actually following Him through steps He would want you to master.
A Collection of Reflections Often grief will feel like a ramble far more than a forward march. These are some of my ramblings thoughts that didn't exactly find their place in the line-up but which were helpful to me to have thought my way through as I went along. So, I've gathered them here because they seem too important to leave out.
Clearing Out Contaminants Sadly, many leave out all consideration of how harmful it is to leave in these contaminants. Things like anger with God, false guilt, fear and self-pity absolutely have to go! Otherwise, they will twist you into a truncated form of grief that will shrink your soul and turn you into a problem for the loved ones who remain.
Receiving Resurrection Faith Without the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, I would have died long ago. Had I survived my failed attempt at life on my own, I would certainly not have survived the death of my wife. Faith in the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead is the bed-Rock for all our hopes. If you don't have it, you need this article.
Believing for Their Resurrection Having faith for the resurrection of Jesus makes possible our hope of seeing our loved one again if we can find any reason to believe that they have been saved by Him. This alone doesn't "cure" all the pain by any means, but without it other pains will come that will riddle your broken heart with a thousand unnecessary fractures.
Believing for Your Resurrection If you are experiencing a great grief, then you know what I mean by saying that losing a great love is a living death. I had no idea what a dangerous limb I climbed out on by giving my heart to June. When she died, a huge part of myself dropped dead with her. Shocked by this, I suddenly realized I needed faith for my own resurrection.
Staying Connected to God All this that we been looking over flows best if we are well-connected to our God. Jesus is our connection point. He who said we can do "nothing" without Him has given us five grace-based ways of being well-connected to our Source of strength and wisdom. How well do we know our need of Him? Those who do, stay plugged in and fully charged.
How God Mends Us People often say God's ways are strange, as if no pattern can be discerned. It is true that the Lord says His thoughts and ways are not ours (Isaiah 55:8), but that doesn't mean we can't spot them at work. These five ways that God mends us are readily observable both in life and in the scriptures. They work whenever we work with them.
A Testimony of Tears There is a reason why a tear drop is the logo symbol for this site. Tears are a gift from God, passed on directly from Him. He mends His own torn Heart by grieving well. There is one scripture that everyone has memorized: "Jesus wept." This tells the story of how the Lord used tears to mend my "soggy heart" from a decades-old grief.
Keeping a Grief Journal People who have written journal entries can tell you that the process seems to take on a life of its own. Automatic handwriting is the occult counterfeit. Journaling is simply letting an unfiltered stream of consciousness eventually bring to the surface thoughts that you hardly knew you had. Recognizing those thoughts brings healing.
Scripture
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion. As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion. Psalm 84:5-7
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9
Jesus wept. So the Jews said, See how he loved him! John 11:35-36
All scripture citations are from the English Standard Version (ESV) unless otherwise noted.
